The dreadful -WHY??

As I am sitting here today contemplating yet another afternoon of doctor appointments, I find myself trying in vain to remember all of the appointments my boys have endured in their short lives. I am ashamed to admit that the pesky 'why' keeps popping up, a lot more often lately it seems. Like 'why' are things the way they are?, or 'why' are my children considered 'special needs'... or like they often ask me 'why' do we have to go to the doctor again momma?
The biggest question that has plagued me for the last 7 years, is what did I do? Could it have been prevented? or is it just genetics?

I know these are really harsh questions, but I don't believe there is a mother out there, with a child who has disabilities, who has not asked these questions, the questions that usually have no answers.

Here is what I believe with all my heart, 'For everything there is a reason', I believe God entrusted me with these three special little boys for a very special reason. He has a plan set for their lives and mine already, He made them, He knows them, and He sees what is down our road. Only He has the answers to all of our questions, the ones no doctor can see. He loves us, and doesn't give us more than we can handle.(a very smart lady tells me that often) I have often found myself at that point, you know where it is, the point where I am looking up to heaven saying " Okay Lord, I am here now, I can't handle any more, and He always knows better, He gently pushes me a little more each time, a little further each time to make me stronger. He does that for us, He takes us where we don't think we can go, where we don't think we can stand, to show us He is God, He is in control, and He will never leave us or forsake us, no matter what!! How Great is that?!?! No matter where we are, He has been there, done that, and still knows what is up ahead!! Thank you Lord for always being here, always listening, and never leaving, no matter my many failures in life. Thank you for loving me!!