Tuesday, January 19, 2010

The miracle of love....

Soon after my third little monkey's birth, I went home to my parents hurt, afraid, and broken. I got a job with them, and lived with them for a year.
While working at this job I met a wonderful woman with a son... do you know where this is going?? Well I didn't, not at first. I had not dated since my divorce, and was still scared of being hurt again. After many discussions, she and I, a date was set up. From the day I met this man, I knew we were meant to be. He seemed to be everything I had been praying for. We had many discussions on this fact, and we both seemed to have the same answer... God had brought us together for a reason.
We dated for seven months and got married in January. Today in fact is our 3 year anniversary! He also has two little miracles of his own. We joined our two families as one that day and I am forever thankful for God's grace on us!
So now along with my three little boy monkeys, I have another boy and a girl monkey in my tree!! All the little monkeys live in our tree full time... Wow!! no one could understand the adjustment that was!! Like being a new mommy and daddy all over again and learning from scratch!! I'll not dare say it has all been roses, by no means... we have had our fair share of trials and pain. But, we have come through the fire tried and tested. And now, you ask??
Well, now we are happier than ever! We love each other all the more for it! Our family is all that much stronger!
Yes, this man, my husband was a wonderful gift from my Heavenly Father, and the two little monkeys, are wonderful little miracles!!

While at the blogger's retreat this past October, I came across some little babies made for mothers who have lost babies. All that day and night as I travelled back home, my thoughts were on my two little babies that I lost. While driving and praying, I felt a sense of peace come around me, and I felt my Father speak to my heart about those babies, while my babies are in His care, He gave me two more gifts to raise, in age order, one before my oldest monkey and one before my second, the same age order as the children that rest with Him! I tell you I cried all the way home, so real was His voice, so obvious His gift! When I shared this with my husband, he just looked at me and said, "you know Tiff, God works in mysterious ways." My mom did as I did and cried and thanked the Lord. Thank You Father for all the wonderful gifts of love in my life!!!

Monday, December 14, 2009

Have you read the story of the prophetess Deborah? It is found in Judges 4 and 5. I encourage you even if you have go back and read it again, study on it. Also there is a novel Song of Deborah by Bette M Ross. I encourage you to find a copy and read it.

It is amazing to me to think on all the wonders our Lord has done for His people. From the stories of Joshua, Moses, and Jacob. The Israelites were God's chosen people, He brought them out of bondage, He gave them His commandments, He favors His children, and yet tying all these stories together, in order from the beginning, it amazes me still how the Israelites were not satisfied. Some took idol gods to serve, they wanted to serve a god they could see time and time again. Why? That is what I wonder. God had been with them, He spoke to them through His prophets, they saw His signs and wonders, and yet they always wanted more, they wanted what in their minds was better. Before the time of Deborah, God gave the Israelites all of the land of Canaan, and yet they allowed outsiders rule some of the area, instead of taking what was rightfully theirs, given to them by God. God spoke to Deborah, He spoke through her to His people, because she was totally devoted to her Father God. In the end still only a few of His nations followed in the Holy war against Sisera as God commanded.
How little faith those children of God had!
What is He calling us to do today?
Is wanting more and better than what we have a stumbling block? YES!
Have you ever thought, if I just had this, or that my life would be better? Guilty! I think everyone has. Why are we not satisfied with our God? Why do we think we always need more and better? The world today has so much of a hold on some lives that I wonder if we would hear our God above it all sometimes. It is a scary thought that we as Christians are making the same mistakes of old. We are doing what we want instead of listening to and trusting our Father.
We have to become totally devoted to our Father God at all cost. We have to put all of our trust and hope in Him, because in the end, He will use those who are truly His. He will use those who will sacrifice all for the sake of God.
Do you trust Him enough to give your all?
Even though you will be tested to the limit?
Even though people even in your church and in your own family, will mock you?
Even though some might label you as crazy?
Do you trust in the Lord God enough to endure all to do His will and follow wherever He will lead?
Serious questions that require serious answers.
We have to stop listening to outside forces, and concentrate on God. We have to seek His will now more than ever before. We have to seek inside ourselves to take before Him all that is not pleasing in His eyes, and make a commitment to Him once and for all.

Psalm 46:10
"Be still, and know that I am God!
I will be honored by every nation.
I will be honored throughout the world."

Get alone with God, talk to Him, LISTEN to Him. If He doesn't speak to you right away, wait for Him. Pray and read His word. You have to decide...

Are you ALL IN or ALL OUT???

I realize that it is Christmas time, and this has been pretty hard for some to read, but I felt it on my heart to share that the time has come to decide...

I love you all! I hope you have a wonderful Christmas!!

Thursday, December 10, 2009

My third little miracle

It has been some weeks since my last post, I am sorry. As I have been writing this series, I have been going back thru the blessings as well as the trials. I have so much I want to say, but can't seem to get it out sometimes... please bare with me, and pray me thru this...

A little over a year after the the scary birth of my second son, I had been going over some pretty rocky roads. On the morning I was pouring out my burdens to my mom for help I found out I was again expecting! To say I was terrified, would be a serious understatement for several reasons, some I do not feel free to share at this time... but one reason I was scared was of the possibility of loosing another child, by this time I had lost two, and then the scary birth of my little one year old, who was barely over 15 pounds at the time himself. My doctor had advised no more children, and I was on meds to prevent such a thing... but, my Father saw differently.

I made it through the first few months pretty well. I had regular check-ups, and frequent tests and ultrasounds. When I got into my 24th week however, things took a turn, I started having contractions, and was again back and forth in the hospital. I was put back on the meds to prevent premature delivery. Aside from checking my vitals every 4 hours, everything seemed to go well, almost like a normal pregnancy. I was being closely monitored every week by my doctor.

Week 35 began with another doctor appointment, but to me it was not just any other, I was having contractions again. My dear sweet doctor ( and I do mean that, I really loved my doc. He was always right there beside me through everything), he decided that it must be false labor breaking thru the meds, and sent me back home. Well I told him that I would be back, and he just smiled and said we needed to at least wait a few more weeks before delivering this baby. I labored all night at home in my bed, and bright and early the next morning, I started calling and letting everyone know that this little one was not going to wait any longer. I went to the hospital and met my doctor there. He still had a smile on his face and said something about my babies being impatient.*smile* A few short hours later I had a new little boy in my arms. When he was delivered my doctor wanted to know if I was sure my dates were right because he was a big one! This was a joke of course because he was the one to confirm the date early on... he said if he would have been full term, he would have probably been 12 pounds!!
He was my biggest baby weighing in at 8 lbs 2 oz. At 5 weeks early, he still had to be on oxygen for a couple of days. On the fourth day his doctor heard the murmur in his heart. My heart sank. Early on I had questioned all of the doctors of the likely hood of this child having the same heart problem as my other child, the answer from each was a very slim chance. He was taken by ambulance to Montgomery to the children's ICU there. Of course, I demanded to be released right away to go with him, my sweet doctor understood, and with very strict orders to come see him in a couple of days he sent me off.

We were only in that hospital overnight. It was confirmed to be the exact heart disorder his big brother has. Years later we have found out that it was caused by a genetic disorder called Noonan's Syndrome. Still very odd to their doctors though, that they both have the same issues. Not odd at all to my God though, He is Who made them who they are, the way they are. He has a purpose in it all, and in the process blessed me with some mighty wonderful miracles!!

Jeremiah 1:5
I knew you before I formed you in your mothers womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations."

I am so excited to see the mighty things my Father has in store for these precious babies he has blessed me with!!

Friday, November 20, 2009

Part 2...

After arriving at UAB hospital, I was informed that I had a decision to make. With my BP still climbing, both of our lives were in danger. I was given a shot to strengthen my baby's lungs, which would take 12 hours to work, and then a second shot would be administered and another 12 hours to take affect, then they said they would give me some time to discuss with my parents and spouse what decision to make. (my spouse was home from Iraq for a month to heal from an injury to his foot) There were tests and ultrasounds to find out how the baby was doing. Finally the doctor came in and told us that there was about a 70% chance that the baby would live if delivered now, but if not both our lives would be in great danger. Due to my high BP they were concerned about stroke and placental abruption, which would very likely take us both. The decision was made with my declining health. They would preform a c-section right away, only a couple of hours after my first shot which would not have time to work. This was the scariest moment in my life! All I could do was pray, I knew it was up to God to save my baby and me. After a grueling spinal, they tried 8 times before they had to get someone else to get it done, I was prepared for the surgery. All I remember is laying there praying the entire time for my baby to be spared.
When he was delivered there was not a sound, I was the one crying. They took him to a corner of the room that I could not see and began working on him. After what seemed like forever, only a few minutes in reality, they said they were taking him to the ICU. I asked to see him first, reluctantly the nurse brought him around for me to see and allowed me to kiss his foot before they put him into an isolette and wheeled him away. He weighed 2 lbs. 7 oz. and was 14" long.
I was in recovery for a long time before I was allowed to see anyone, or get any news of my baby. My blood pressure had plummeted so I was alone with God for a long time praying. I was finally taken to a room, and by this time, more family had arrived, I was surrounded with love. I was given a Polaroid picture of my son. My family was allowed to go into the ICU by twos, and after a good scrubbing was allowed to touch his little foot, or hand. They took videos of him for me, as I was unable to get out of bed at all for over 24 hrs. It was the longest time of my life waiting to be able to only touch my baby.

When I finally was able, even with everyones warnings of his condition, I cried at the site of his little body consumed by so many tubes, and surrounded by several machines. I just wanted to pick him up and hold his little body against mine. He was so tiny, he could not even cry. You knew when he was hurting though by the expression on his little face. I had never in my life before prayed like I did in those 10 weeks he was in that hospital.

I was finally able to hold him after a couple of days, but only to lift him off the bed for the nurse to put down a clean blanket. It was about a week before I was able to cradle him in my arms. How I cherished those times! I was released after about 2 weeks, and stayed with a family member who lived 20 miles away. It was a trial to leave him behind. Everyday from open to close I stayed by his bed begging to change diapers, anything just to touch him. My dear sweet mom left her job and moved with my son and I into a small apartment so that I could have both of my babies close. A wonderful church, Homewood Church of Christ, allowed us to live in one of their apartments until my baby could go home. So many people loved and supported us thru that time! I will forever be grateful for it!
Can I just say God was right there! The whole time, thru all the agonizing roller coasters of his recovery and relapses, He was right there! God brought us thru this and many other battles to come. They let us come home a little early because the doctor said,"mom is here every single day more than we are, she knows everything to do, they will be fine." I called it our 'good behavior release' lol. Oh getting home was both exciting and terrifying, I set my alarm for every 3 hours,(the same schedule they had him on in the hospital) to change, check body temp, and feed. He was such a good baby!
The only signs that he was ever in that condition was his heart condition, which was later found a direct link to a genetic disorder which he and his baby brother both have. He had heart surgery when he was able to put on a little weight, at three months old he was 5 lbs. We went back to that hospital for the surgery, he came thru it great and only had to stay overnight!
God has been so good to us and always so faithful to provide!
This child of mine is His, and He spared him for a great purpose, I can hardly wait to learn what my little monkey is called to do!

Isaiah 43:11-13
I, yes I, am the Lord, and there is no other Savior. 12 First I predicted your rescue, then I saved you and proclaimed it to the world. No foreign god has ever don this. You are witnesses that I am the only God," says the Lord. 13 "From eternity to eternity I am God. No one can snatch anyone out of my hand. No one can undo what I have done."
Praise the Lord!!! Thank you Father!!!

Monday, November 9, 2009

The Next Miracle... part 1

As I shared in my last blog of this series, a few weeks after the loss of my child, I found that I was again expecting...
I, of course was very scared, because according to my OB, it was too soon for me to try to carry another baby. But it wasn't too soon for God to perform a miracle!! About 6 weeks along with this pregnancy, I was in WalMart with my son, who was at the time just a little over one year, and was not yet walking. I was doing my weekly grocery shopping, when I started getting very light-headed and having major hot flashes. I grabbed my son and headed straight for the bathroom. When I got into the stall with my son I saw the reason for my sudden sickness, I was loosing my baby! I don't remember much after that just the room around me spinning. Sometime later-just a few minutes I think, I was able to get up, and get my son out of the bathroom. I just kept saying "I have to get to the hospital, how am I going to get there with my son?" Well little did I know, but God had all that planned already...
As I stepped out of the bathroom, I ran into my husbands Aunt from Germany! How she happened to be in Alabama, and right in front of me at that very moment was nothing short of God's provision for us!! Immediately she knew something was wrong, she grabbed my son, and hurried us out to her car, where I phoned my dad, and the doctor. After that was yet another blur of activity... I remember getting to my doctors office, and my dad being with me. After an exam, my doctor said he wasn't sure what had happened or what will happen, but for now it seemed that the baby was okay. He gave me some pills to prevent the impending miscarriage, to take throughout the rest of my first trimester, and ordered me to bed rest. Oh, how I prayed for this child to be spared!!
Everything seemed to progress well for the next couple of months, with regular ultrasounds to assess the baby's progress. I found out at 20 weeks that it was to be another little boy! I was so happy! (I forgot to mention, that during this pregnancy, my husband -at the time was in Iraq)
Just a few days after finding out that I was to have a little boy, I started having more dizzy spells, and went into labor. I went straight to the hospital, and they found that I had High blood pressure, along with pre-term labor. I stayed overnight, and went home with medicine to take for the rest of the pregnancy to stop the labor, and resumed semi-bed rest. I was at approx 23 weeks along. During the next few weeks, there were frequent trips to my doctor, and the ER because the medicine was not working as it should, and my blood pressure was getting higher,(I had to check it every 3 hours, every day, along with my pulse because of the meds I was on)
At 28 weeks, I went to the ER for the final time, I was in labor, and my blood pressure was 169/110. I was taken by ambulance to UAB ( University of Alabama Hospital in Birmingham). They are well known for their neo-natal ICU. If there was a chance for my little boy, and I to live, that was where we both needed to be...

to be continued...

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Word to share...

I have been reading a new book, I'm not going to tell what it is until I finish reading it, but it has truly been an eye-opener!! I try to find a new way to describe it every time I tell anyone about it, but the only words that seem to fit it are powerful, eye-opener!! I usually have no trouble at all finishing a book soon after starting it, but there are forces trying to stop me from continuing the one. I have had to stop and bind those powers in Jesus name!! Throughout reading this book, the Holy Spirit has quickened me to some things that are coming against my family, and against me. I got on my face before God today and He began to show me some things that needed a Blood covering-and they got it!!

I was given this scripture to share with you today:

Psalm 139:23-24

Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 Point out anything in me that offends you; and lead me along the path of everlasting life.

This should be our daily prayer as our thoughts should always be on Jesus! We are in spiritual warfare every single day and we can Not leave any door open or any foothold for Satan to find and use against us! Keep your eyes on Jesus!

Hebrews 12:1-4 (NLT)

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.
We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting Him, He endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now He is seated in the place of honor beside God's throne.
Think of all the hostility He endured from the sinful people; then you won't become weary and give up.
After all you have not yet given your lives in your struggle against sin.

Take up your whole armor daily and stand firm on the word of God!!

Thursday, October 29, 2009

I have attempted to post the next segment of the series I have started for the past week or so, and haven't been able to put everything down yet. I will be continuing on it soon.

Today however, I opened my Bible, and a portion jumped out at me, and I feel I need to share it.
Isaiah 41:1-4 (NLT)
1"Listen in silence before me, you lands beyond the sea. Bring your strongest arguments. Come now and speak. The court is ready for your case."
2"Who has stirred up this king from the east, rightly calling him to God's service? Who gives this man victory over many nations and permits him to trample their kings underfoot? With his sword, he reduces armies to dust. With his bow, he scatters them like chaff before the wind."
3" He chases them away and goes on safely, though he is walking over unfamiliar ground."
4" Who has done such mighty deeds, summoning each new generation from the beginning of time? It is I, the Lord, the First and the Last. I alone am he."

How Great is our God!!! He has called all nations to a trial to prove that He alone is God!!
Wow! There is nothing or no one greater than our God, no circumstance He hasn't foreseen, nothing He can't handle!! We have to stand firm in the knowledge that He is our God, our protector from outside forces. Someone is struggling with a force against their home, their family, and them personally. Stand firm in God, He will shut the lions mouths. He will give you strength! He hears your cries, and He alone will bring you through this valley. Look up and know that He is God!! Hallelujah!!! Thank you Jesus!!!