Late last night I had a need to get out by myself for a little while. I wound up headed to Walmart and decided to get myself some flowers for my birthday, I have done this the past couple of years, because there is nothing better than waking up on your birthday with flowers! I was feeling kinda down last night with a lot on my mind. I walked in to find the perfect birthday flowers, and what jumped out at me?? A bouquet of Purple daises!!! I knew they were for me. I took them home, trimmed them up and put them in a glass of water by my bed. When I woke up this morning, it was like getting that call that never failed on my birthday every year from Aunt Wanda! I felt so close to her this morning! I remember she never once forgot to call me on my special day and was usually the first (after mom and dad) to wish me a happy day, and I love you! I am so blessed to have my family, every year all of my aunts, uncles, and grandparents call me on this day, they never forget. I love you all so much!!! You make my birthday great every year!

A miracle happened this morning. God sent his angels down around our little boy. He rides a handicap bus to school every morning, it was still dark out when he got ready to get on this morning. There is an aide on the bus that helps the kids on and off the bus. As usual he walked across the road and got our boy's hand to lead him across to get on the bus. There were cars lined up on either side of the bus waiting. Over the hill a semi did not see that there were cars stopped for the bus. He could not stop in time. I had just stepped back inside the house when I heard the horrible sound of that semi horn. We ran outside just in time to see him fish tailing around the bus that held our boy, and go in and out of the ditch at our driveway dodging all the cars. He didn't hit a single one, and everything kept going on like it had not just happened! Thank you Jesus for keeping our son safe and preventing what could have been a devastating accident!! What a wonderful birthday gift to feel God so close this morning!!

Creating...

Childhood...
Such a precious gift in life, being young and carefree. Of course you don't notice it at the time, you are just waiting for the milestone birthdays' to prove you as 'grown up'. It is funny how all children can't wait to grow up, while most adults wish for their childhood back.
My childhood was wonderful! I have great memories from each place I lived growing up. Among the early memories, is one of my mom in her sewing room in the back of my Granlere's barn, and my dad doing wood work inside the barn. I, as usual was running back and forth between the two gathering their scraps so that I could create something my very own. I found a heart shaped piece of wood from my dad's work station, not a perfect heart, but it looked good enough for my 6 year old eyes. Along with several scraps of material, when I say scraps I mean exactly that, narrow trash pieces no more than a few inches long.(My mom did not believe in throwing any material out, unless it was absolutely unusable for anything at all, the smaller scraps she used to make my sister and I some Barbie clothes, and such) Any way, I was so excited about my find, my treasures as I called them, that I couldn't wait to run right next door to our house and start gluing it all together, to make something new. Later I hid my prize underneath the tree skirt of our Christmas tree for my mom to find her very original, very "me" gift!
Thinking about how I took that less than perfect shaped heart to turn it into a prize, a gift, makes me think of our Savior, how He takes our misshapen, broken down hearts, remakes them into a beautiful prize for all the world to see, and rejoice in the new creature He has made! The pleasure I remember feeling creating this gift, can be nothing compared to the pleasure God feels when He creates a new life to serve Him! It still amazes me, just how much He cares for me!! I LOVE JESUS!! (repeat) YES I DO!! (repeat)I LOVE JESUS!!(repeat) HOW ABOUT YOU?!(repeat) I LOVE JESUS YES I DO I LOVE JESUS HOW ABOUT YOU!! (repeat) (my kids and I love to shout this song)!!

Trust

This is harder to put into words than I thought, I have already deleted everything four times!

Why is trusting so hard?
For me it is the hardest of all things. I have always struggled with being able to trust people, for as long as I can remember I have been let down by almost everyone I have come in contact with in my life (not including my wonderful family). I still struggle with this one issue more than any other, because when things seem to be going good, I am awaiting that next shoe to drop. What I have come to realize is, people are going to let you down, in the worst possible ways. People are unreliable. You have to understand this truly to get to the place where you can know that no matter what you say or do, you can't stop people from being people, that's what they are, imperfect. They will let you down. They will sometimes hurt you, and reject you. This is all very dismal, but also very true.
There is only One you can truly trust... God is perfect! He is reliable! He will never let you down! He will NEVER hurt or reject you! He is the only One who can love you unconditionally. He is the only One you can TRUST Fully!! When you get to the place where God's love takes center stage in your life and you can really give all of your trust to Him to take care of you. Only then can you be alright with yourself, in Him, and let the everyday worries go. Those worries of being able to trust in others not to hurt you . When others let you down, because they will - they are just people; you can trust in Him to see you through the hurt. He will wrap His loving arms around you and hold you while you cry, and He will lift you up and make everything feel alright again! I know because He has done that for me many times, and still does whenever I need Him to.
To trust is to put all your faith in God, not man. God will deal with the rest!

Updates...

I am sorry it has been so long in between posts... My dear mommy tells me often, just write about your day, doctors appts, etc. I always tell her I just like to wait to be inspired on a topic... but I do plan to start writing more often.

First, Keep praying for sweet Angel and her family! They have sent her daddy home, not because he is well enough to be there, but because the family insurance ran out! I know I still can't believe it myself, he should be in a rehab facility recovering, and learning to walk again... The family is doing everything possible to care for the girls and their parents right now, and really need to be lifted up, God is still working in their lives!

Second, The kids are doing well, the middle one is on a new med. now for his ADHD, and is thriving in school!!! Praise the Lord!!! The baby is going for a surgical consult soon with a urologist which I am very nervous about, and the oldest boy is going to the doctor again tomorrow, he did a switch in meds that is not at all working, so we will see what the nest step is tomorrow. The little girl and other sweet boy are both struggling in school right now, I have tried so many things to get them interested in school the way I was, but am running out of ideas... it is a daily task;)

I will go into more detail about each one another day, right now, I am moving on to another post that has been on my heart to share...

A little Angel

I had a call from a dear friend of mine this morning, concerning a miracle! She gave me permission to share the story in hopes to uplift all who hear...

Her nephew, his wife, and two precious little girls were in route to the doctors office on a rainy morning last week. Angel is 4 and her new baby sister is only a couple of months old. Out of nowhere a car plowed into the passenger side of their car, where little Angel and her daddy were sitting, and pushed them into yet another car! I don't know any more of the details of the crash, other than God was there on the spot!

When the grandmother got to the hospital, she ran into the paramedic from the scene of the horrible crash, the mommy has a broken pelvis he told her, the daddy also has a broken pelvis, much more severe, with pins placed in it, he also has a broken back in two places, but did not sever his spinal cord! He will walk! He also has a broken elbow and required surgery because his appendix was pushed into his gallbladder and both had to be removed, he is alive and he will again walk after much rehab! But Grandmother we can't figure one thing out, little sister, a few months old, in her baby seat was covered in glass and debris, but not a scratch was on her! And little Angel who sat right behind daddy on the passenger side of the car, with the most impact, she was completely unharmed other than a small bruise from the safety belt! We just can't understand it,she never should have survived it!
Well Grandmother, with tears in her eyes, just pointed up to the sky, and said "Oh, I truly do understand, He was there, and He protected His children!"

Please join with us in prayer for little Angel's family, they still have a long road of recovery ahead, little Angel at 4 years old is a remarkable child, she never meets a stranger, and talks like a grown up, she will be the first to tell you that prayer works, because she prayed that day! She has reminded everyone since, whenever they get into a car to pray first! She is so amazing to me! God is Great!!!

The dreadful -WHY??

As I am sitting here today contemplating yet another afternoon of doctor appointments, I find myself trying in vain to remember all of the appointments my boys have endured in their short lives. I am ashamed to admit that the pesky 'why' keeps popping up, a lot more often lately it seems. Like 'why' are things the way they are?, or 'why' are my children considered 'special needs'... or like they often ask me 'why' do we have to go to the doctor again momma?
The biggest question that has plagued me for the last 7 years, is what did I do? Could it have been prevented? or is it just genetics?

I know these are really harsh questions, but I don't believe there is a mother out there, with a child who has disabilities, who has not asked these questions, the questions that usually have no answers.

Here is what I believe with all my heart, 'For everything there is a reason', I believe God entrusted me with these three special little boys for a very special reason. He has a plan set for their lives and mine already, He made them, He knows them, and He sees what is down our road. Only He has the answers to all of our questions, the ones no doctor can see. He loves us, and doesn't give us more than we can handle.(a very smart lady tells me that often) I have often found myself at that point, you know where it is, the point where I am looking up to heaven saying " Okay Lord, I am here now, I can't handle any more, and He always knows better, He gently pushes me a little more each time, a little further each time to make me stronger. He does that for us, He takes us where we don't think we can go, where we don't think we can stand, to show us He is God, He is in control, and He will never leave us or forsake us, no matter what!! How Great is that?!?! No matter where we are, He has been there, done that, and still knows what is up ahead!! Thank you Lord for always being here, always listening, and never leaving, no matter my many failures in life. Thank you for loving me!!

A Princess to The Royal Kingdom...

I went "home" for the day yesterday (which I love to do) to enjoy my nephew's birthday party and spend some much needed time with my family. It was a wonderful day to see my grandparents, they are so dear to me! As well as the rest of my family, but grandparents are something special, I love to sit and listen to stories before my time and imagine life as it was then... it always seems so much simpler to me, the slow pace of days gone by... but that's another thought for another day...
As I was sitting in my sisters dining room, with my Grandma and Granlere we were talking about books, as we do on a fairly regular basis, my Granlere began a story that has been in my mind since then...

Granlere was very excited when she told that, on one of her regular trips to a local thrift store(a great place to find good books), she was approached by a lady, fellow customer come to drop off some donations, and asked if she read Christian romance novels, well she smiled brightly as only my Granlere can, and said she does. The Lady asked her to come with her to her car, she has a whole bag of them that she can have! Little did she know that is why my Granlere was there that day because I had asked her to "hunt me up some"...

In telling me this Granlere seemed surprised that this Lady picked her out of any number of other customers to give this great gift to, I however was not surprised... and this is what has been on my mind, that I have been contemplating since that story was told.
Why did this not surprise me, that my Granlere was recognized as one who reads Christian books? As a Christian?

The answer, My Granlere glows (she always has), the glow of Royalty, she has the presence of Divine Royalty, she is the daughter of The King, She is a princess to The Holy Throne of God the Father. Of course she is recognized as being so.

In turn my question is how do we get that glow? The glow of complete love, faith, hope, and reassurance? How can I be like Him so that He is seen through me? That is what that lady saw when she looked at my Granlere, the love of the Father shown through his daughter!! How exciting is that!!

Pray that He shines through us so people can see Him in us! What a life!